Be the Adult

  I'm 30 years past being a teenager, but up to about 47 or so I was blessed with a red-hot metabolism and got away with some pretty horrendous eating habits, such as: Age 12: Spend my paper route tip money on Popeye's biscuits ($0.35) or Chuckles ($0.31) at the candy store on my route. My sister and I did all sorts of hustling and cajoling for those tips and arranged the order of the route to hit Popeye's, the candy store, or the bakery on our way home. Age 15: We'd pick blueberries and freeze tens of pounds of them. While watching TV, I'd pull out out a quart bag of blueberries and a crap-load of sugar and hoover it all up on the couch. Age 16: Got a real job now! Candy, Coca-Cola (full sugar, mind you), Burger King and White Castle all the time. Age 18: The Navy- I can't believe how clueless I was. Clueless! The Navy didn't teach me to eat, but several fit friends starting bringing about awareness that a pack of Marlboros, a sleeve of Nutter Butters, yell...

Over the last several years, motorcycling seems to be trending away from classic cruisers and moving into some new categories. Two of the most popular are Adventure Bikes (ADV) and smaller Dual-Sports. A third category that's gotten a lot of traction lately are trikes and Can-Am type machines, but they're hot for a different reason (primarily Boomers aging out of two wheels, but fighting the good fight to stay in the lifestyle). Sitting in a Pennsylvania multi-line motorcycle shop this April, I saw zero inventory of new ADVs, Dual-Sports, or trikes, but a showroom full of cruisers that were taken in on trade. The sales people said every crate that arrives on the dock is pre-sold and the phone's ringing off the hook.  What gives? According the Motorcycle Industry Council, the AMA, and anecdotal evidence, a couple of events converged to truly push ADV and Dual-Sports center-stage: A desire to actually explore the myriad dirt and gravel roads we encounter while touring on o...

  What the heck is going on? I got a taste of what my wife deals with on a regular basis with our health insurance company this week. I had a plumber that did something similar with, "I can't finish this job until I get your pressure regulator to code for another two hundred dollars." Of course, this doesn't slip out until your main shutoff has been cut out of the system. If you're a supply-sider, this is simply a provider of a service maximizing their outcomes. You Atlas Shrugged-types probably appreciate the plumber's quick thinking. I, on the other hand, call these shenanigans and it's typically a) the last time that person gets my business, b) I make sure everyone that asks me for a reference knows who not to call, and c) tightens up my contract reading skills and cynicism for the next person I have to deal with. Of course, you can sum this up as adulthood, right? Back to health care. A couple of things have come up recently that make me wish I could j...

  Mandate:  1 : an authoritative command especially : a formal order from a superior court or official to an inferior one 2 : an authorization to act given to a representative ( e.g. accepted the mandate of the people ) (Source: Merriam-Webster) As I look through the pictures of American citizens vandalizing our nation's capital, I find myself thinking about mandates and cults of personality. How did we get here? How is it that a country that prides itself on individualism can hysterically lose its mind as a group? How can we be one of the world's most advanced societies, yet so easily succumb to medieval behavior that borders on adolescent fantasy? How can anyone worship a man? Especially a cheat? A chump? A Trump? Plenty of ink has been spilled by people far more qualified than me on what got us here. While those lessons hide in plain sight, my mind shifts forward to the work of adults that will be fillin...

Who doesn't love a Harley? Me! Except when I do. For the longest time, I was an ABH (anything but Harley) rider. Most of it came down to two things: The dealer experience was always terrible I have a serious problem with cults For years, I would test ride a Harley or rent one for a day to remind myself why I can't stand them, but then I had an epiphany. In 2013 I rode a new Harley Dyna FXD at a demo day and it simply changed the game. Stripped to the bone, it was basically a motor and a seat with mid-mount controls and a rake that was considerably sportier than Harley's typically lazy front ends. I scraped the pegs in every corner and hit the limiter constantly, but it was my definition of the American motorcycle experienced distilled to its bare essence. I couldn't believe how happy that bike made me and I filed that feeling in the back of my mind as the one Harley I would consider buying. Fast forward to 2020. Covid-19 is in full swing and we're all on lockdown. L...

Happy Veteran's Day, 'Murica! I've decided to use my day off as a time for reflection. You've lived through the last four years right alongside me, so there's no point in an airing of grievances or rehashing what's turned out to be an interesting four years for the human race. Instead, I offer a summary of socially-distanced porch conversations, thoughts while walking the dog, and random musings while on flights and long car trips. Note that I did not mention thoughts while riding a motorcycle or trail running, because these two items require too much mental bandwidth to safely do any deep thinking (if you're doing it the way I do).   Get Off of Social Media! Are you a grown up? Get off social media. Are you a kid? Don't start social media. Seriously, son? You want to be a YouTuber when you grow up? Sorry, buddy, but you need to work on a backup skill because when shit hits the fan, no one ever says, "We need a 4th tier media microcelebrity!" S...

  After six months of ownership, I finally had enough pucker-moments on wet pavement to force me to get rid of the nine-year-old, rock hard tires that came with the bike. With new tires ("New and improved high-silica compound for improved traction in the rain!" says the advertising copy), I finally knocked out the last nagging maintenance item that was sapping my confidence and keeping me from riding in anything but perfect weather. After picking up the bike from the shop (on one of the nicest fall riding days of the year), I was dying to break these tires in and put them through their paces. Too busy with kid sports and preparing for our Covid-friendly outdoor Halloween party to get out and ride, I figured I could sneak something in the next day. Lo and behold, as I stood on my porch, it was forty-eight degrees and raining steadily. I went back inside and told my wife I wish I had a bike that was better suited for rain riding (like a BMW GS or Triumph Tiger). My recently so...